


Character Bleed

by parenthetical



Series: Character Bleed [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: J-Squared, Jensen/Sam!Jared, M/M, roleplaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-05
Updated: 2007-04-05
Packaged: 2017-10-02 01:10:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parenthetical/pseuds/parenthetical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Character bleed</em>, Jensen thinks morosely, <em>is a bitch</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Character Bleed

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to Method Acting. There are some wincesty thoughts in here which anti-wincest people may prefer to avoid.

_Character bleed_, Jensen thinks morosely, _is a bitch_.

It's not like he's never experienced it before. It happens to everyone from time to time. When you spend twenty hours a day playing a character, it's hard to just scrub them off along with the make-up. Living in their head all day, spending all your free time memorising their dialogue, lying awake at night trying to figure out what makes them tick... It's no surprise that sometimes the lines blur to the point where you're not sure which of you is the more real.

But it's been a good long time since Jensen suffered from a bad case of it. Or had been, anyway.

Second season has been taking its toll. Not that things have been going badly: on the contrary. Ratings are pretty good considering their killer time slot, the plots are interesting, the show really seems to have stepped up a level. And things between Jared and him are better than ever. Jensen's got nothing to be depressed about.

Unfortunately, Dean does.

From an abstract perspective, Jensen's been relishing it. Playing Dean this season has been a real challenge, and he's loving the way the character's developing. But exciting though it is, it's also... intense. He's putting so much into Dean that it's been leaving him exhausted and overshadowed by his character's depression.

At first he'd just shrugged it off, told himself off for being such a whiny emo kid. But things have been getting worse, not better, as the season progresses and Dean spirals deeper into depression. Jensen's caught himself doing stupid little things in an attempt to cheer up his inner Dean: going out for huge, greasy fry-ups, playing Metallica, flirting a little with the pretty girl at the coffee shop.

None of it has really been helping. It's been getting harder to talk himself into getting out of bed in the mornings, and Jensen's seriously starting to think he's going to have to do something about this, because more than one person has remarked that he's gotten quieter and more withdrawn. Character bleed is one thing, but this is more like character _hemorrhage_.

Jared's pretty good at kicking him out of it. Jensen doesn't think even Dean would stand much chance of being all angsty and depressed around Jared. In fact - he flushes slightly at the memory - _that _evening was one of the few things in the past month which cheered Dean up hugely. Jensen's not sure exactly what that says about his character, that banging a hot guy who looks like his brother can make life seem so much less dark and overwhelming, but he's not about to start overanalysing it. It was a great evening, and it knocked all three of them out of their respective emo angsting for a while, so Jensen figures it's all good.

He wishes Jared were here right now. But the episode they're currently shooting is fairly Dean-centric, so Jared has had a couple of days off while Jensen is stuck on set. Jared has taken the opportunity to fly down to Texas and visit his family for a long weekend. Jensen doesn't begrudge him that; hell, Jensen had encouraged him to go. Neither of them gets to see their families much outside of hiatus, what with their insane schedule and the fact that they shoot up in Vancouver.

Jensen has been missing him, though. To a truly pitiful extent. It's... weird, being on set without Jared around to elbow him and joke with him. It's draining, going so deep into Dean for these intense scenes and not having anyone to drag him back to reality by flicking a gummi worm at his face when Kim shouts 'cut'. It's lonely, lying in bed at night thinking too much, without Jared's warmth to distract him.

It's the reason Jensen's sitting in this godforsaken bar by himself on a Saturday night. He's finally finished shooting for the week, though it's been a pretty rough day and he's not quite managed to completely untangle himself from Dean yet. He couldn't stand the silence of his apartment for a moment longer, but on the other hand, he doesn't feel up to dealing with lots of shiny happy people either. Especially without Jared there to act as bridge and buffer.

He considers ordering another beer but decides against it. Time to take this pity party home and try to get a decent night's sleep. Jared's due to fly back in late tomorrow night, so Jensen will no doubt have plenty of distraction then to kick him out of this mood.

He fiddles with the label on his near-empty beer bottle, and is caught completely off-guard when a fresh one is slid across the table to him and a familiar voice says, "You look like you could do with another."

Jensen gapes wordlessly at Jared - no, at _Sam goddamn Winchester_ \- standing across from him for almost a minute before he manages to close his mouth, feeling a smile tugging at his lips. Sam is smiling back, a little shyly, giving off his best _I'm harmless, promise_ vibes, and it's that - not the seven extra layers he's wearing, not the thin strip of leather twined around one wrist - which tells Jensen it really is Sam and not Jared right now.

"Thanks," Jensen says softly, and he's not talking about the beer.

"Mind if I join you?" Sam asks.

It's a moment before Jensen can get it together enough to reply, because Jared turning up unexpectedly like this has kind of knocked him on his ass. He doesn't know whether Jared planned this all along, or whether flying back early was a spur-of-the-moment thing, but either way, Jesus, it's good to see him.

And for him to not only be there, but be there as _Sam_ \- it kind of breaks Jensen's mind a bit.

Jared/Sam shifts slightly, looking suddenly uneasy. "I'm sorry, you just... looked kinda down. I didn't mean to - I'll just -"

"Please," Jensen blurts out, suddenly realising he's been sitting there staring instead of answering. "Please, grab a seat. Sorry, I just - long day, you know. I'm not quite with it tonight."

Sam's smile as he sits down is bright enough to rival Jared's.

~*~

Three beers later, Jensen can't wipe the smile off his own face, can't tear his eyes away from Sam. Sam's leaning forward, arms propped on the table, the position - utterly unlike the way Jared usually sprawls - minimising his height and conveying his complete focus on Jensen. For his part, Jensen's finally relaxed completely and allowed the stress of a tough week's filming to slip away. It helps that his inner Dean has relaxed too, now that his brother's within sight and reach.

He's a little surprised by how easy he and Sam are together, how comfortable their conversation is. They've been chatting for hours, and apart from the initial shock, there's been no awkwardness. Thinking about it, though, perhaps it's not so surprising. Jensen knows Sam. Hell, he almost _was_ Sam, until Jared came along, and while Jared's very much made the character his own, Jensen still _gets_ him on some fundamental level. Plus there's how much time he spends with Jared in character as Sam. Not to mention how much time _Dean_ spends thinking about Sam. So really, it shouldn't come as a shock, how at ease he is with the guy.

Besides, Sam connects well with people, is good at getting them to open up to him. This is more than that, though; Jensen's sure of it, absorbing the fond amusement in Sam's eyes as he watches Jensen intently from across the table, the flicker of heat there as he takes in the way Jensen brushes his fingers across the label on the beer bottle.

_Yeah, definitely more than that,_ Jensen thinks as their eyes catch and lock.

After a long moment, he swallows hard and forces himself to speak. "So, have you... got a place to stay tonight?"

"Not yet," Sam admits, shaking his head. "Anyplace you could recommend for a night?" The question is phrased cautiously, but his expression is hopeful.

"Well," Jensen starts to reply, then gives himself a shake and forces himself to just say it. "You could always crash at my place. If you'd like, that is. I mean -"

He cuts off because Sam is smiling, slow and warm, and Jensen feels its heat travel all the way through him.

"I'd like," Sam says quietly. "I'd really like that, Jensen."

Jensen can't stop the smile that spreads across his face, though he suspects it makes him look like a lovestruck idiot, and he lowers his head to try to hide it. Judging by the warmth in Sam's eyes when Jensen risks a glance up, though, Sam doesn't have any problem with it at all.

~*~

When they get back to Jensen's apartment, Jensen leaves Sam to take off his jacket and heads straight through to the kitchen to get them something to drink. "You want coffee? Or I've got beer, if you'd prefer." He tries to ignore his inner Dean, who is currently killing himself laughing at him. "Or whisky. Or vodka. Or there's orange juice. Or -"

His nervous litany is cut off when Sam's hand closes on his shoulder and turns him around.

"Got a better idea," Sam murmurs, and kisses him.

_Oh _yeah. Much better.

Jensen lets the carton of orange juice slip from suddenly nerveless fingers to land on the counter, and slides his hands slowly up Sam's arms. Sam's hands are cradling his face, thumbs stroking gently along his cheekbones. He tilts Jensen's head, angling him to gain better access to his mouth, and something about that strikes Jensen as unbearably hot. He moans softly into Sam's mouth, feels Sam's lips curl upwards, smiling a little into their kiss.

Jensen's hands complete their slow journey up Sam's arms, and he slips one up to the back of Sam's neck, trailing his fingers along the curve of the bone at the top of his spine. His other hand strokes down Sam's back, fingers splaying wide, unconsciously urging him closer.

Sam shivers slightly and presses Jensen backwards until the counter is digging into his back and Sam is crowding up against him, without breaking the kiss, forcing Jensen to tilt his head back to a near-uncomfortable angle. The height thing... well, it's not like he's never thought about it. But back at the bar, even on the ride back here, the way Sam sat and moved seemed almost designed to minimise his height. Now, though, Sam seems to have shed that inhibition: he's all but surrounding Jensen. It's one hell of a turn-on, Jensen admits to himself.

Slowly, Sam breaks the kiss, but only pulls back far enough to look at Jensen. The intensity of his eyes, which Jensen has always thought of as Sam's hallmark, is now shot through with heat and brought to bear entirely on him.

"This okay?" Sam asks, voice pitched low. His hands are still cradling Jensen's face.  
_  
Okay?_ Jensen nods dumbly, unable to look away. Jesus, this is more than okay, better than okay, better than anything.

Something of that must show in his eyes, because Sam kisses him again, hard and fast this time, and Jensen moans aloud when Sam pulls away far too soon.

But then Sam bats away the carton of orange juice and _lifts_ Jensen up to sit on the edge of the counter, and oh _fuck yes_.

Before Jensen can even fully process the change of position, Sam is attacking his shirt: not rough, but in a fury of impatience, like he'll die if he can't get to Jensen's skin _right now_. Jensen's happy to go along with this plan, but he's more preoccupied with Sam pressing hot and close against him, standing between his legs. Jensen's higher than him now, perched up on the counter, and this time he's the one to grab Sam's face and tilt it up for a kiss. Though judging by the way Sam moans and strains towards him, he has no complaints. Jensen wraps his legs around Sam's waist anyway, holding him closer, kissing him deeper.

A drugged length of time later, Sam breaks the kiss and begins to suck his way down Jensen's neck, tracing the curve of his throat with his mouth. Jensen groans and throws back his head, swaying dizzily, feeling one of Sam's hands settle at the small of his back to steady him. Jensen allows his own hands to slide into Sam's hair, tangling in it - not pulling, just holding on for dear life as Sam's mouth traverses his throat, licks along his jawline, nibbles at his earlobes.

"God," Jensen murmurs, barely aware that he's speaking aloud. "_God_."

"It's _Sam_," Sam murmurs back, and Jensen can feel Sam's lips curving into a grin as his mouth moves lower, blazing a trail across Jensen's chest, lapping at a nipple.

Jensen arches, grateful again for the support of Sam's hand at his back, but _holy fuck_ the movement brings his cock up hard against Sam's stomach and suddenly it isn't enough, none of this is enough. His control is _gone_ and he _needs _Sam, needs him now.

Fortunately, Sam seems to have been hit by the same rush of heat and urgency, because he pulls back far enough to start frantically undoing Jensen's belt. For his part, Jensen is trying to get rid of Sam's shirt and t-shirt, but their aims are colliding, and after a moment Sam growls and shifts away far enough to tug his own t-shirt over his head.

Jensen stares at the hard planes of Sam's torso and chest as they're revealed, and both he and his inner Dean are in sudden and full agreement about what to do now.

He launches himself forward, legs still wrapped around Sam's waist. Sam can't see, his head and arms tangled inside the t-shirt, and the sudden movement makes him lose his balance and carries them both to the floor.

The combination of the way they land and the t-shirt cushion Sam's head, which is just as well, because they go down fairly hard. Jensen straddles Sam's waist and reaches up to tug the t-shirt abruptly away from Sam's face, ignoring his inner Dean's suggestion that he at least leave it tangled around his wrists.

His inner Dean is getting very into this, and possibly that's something Jensen's going to have to think about. Later.

"_Fuck_," Sam says harshly, and reaches up with both hands to drag Jensen's mouth down to his, crashing together in a kiss.

Everything is spiralling out of control now. Sam is frantically working to get their belts undone and remaining clothes out of the way. Jensen is in full agreement with this plan, but he can't bring himself to move far enough away to help, can't pull back for an instant. He's losing himself in their kiss, losing sight of himself because Sam is all there is, filling all his world, and it doesn't matter if he is Jensen or Dean so long as Sam keeps kissing him like this.

Finally, Sam gives a strangled moan and flips them over so that Jensen is lying on the kitchen floor, the cool tiles a shock against his back, making him arch up against Sam and recapture his mouth. Sam allows the kiss to continue for a moment before pulling back and stripping away their remaining clothes as quickly as he can. Jensen lies there, gasping, watching appreciatively, hungrily, and drags Sam back down the moment they're both as close to naked as he can bear to wait for.

"God," he whispers again. "God, Samm- mmmmmmmmm -"

A near-slip there, because he's not sure how Sam would tolerate anyone but Dean calling him that, and though Jensen's far more Dean in this moment than he would ever have expected to be or ever intended to be, Sam doesn't know that, doesn't know the stranger he's fucking on the kitchen floor has anything to do with his brother beyond the uncanny resemblance. Although given that resemblance, really, maybe Jensen should be wondering about Sam, too.

But just then Sam's hand closes around both of their cocks, and Jensen loses all remaining rational thought. "_Fuck_!"

"Oh, god," Sam gasps, "god, if you could see yourself -"

He presses hot, feverish kisses to Jensen's face, urging him on. "Come on, baby, come on, so good, god, come on, De- come -"

Jensen doesn't know if that slip was Sam's or Jared's, but it doesn't really matter because both he and Dean think it's hot as _hell_, and Jensen's crying aloud as he comes, bucking up, fingers digging hard into Sam's shoulders, head flung back to hit hard against the kitchen tiles.

"Oh _god_," Sam moans, and then he's coming too and collapsing on top of Jensen.

They lie still for a long moment, as Jensen tries to bring his heart rate back under control. He has a feeling it might take a while, but running his fingers lazily through Sam's hair is enough to keep him content for a good long time to come.

 

His inner Dean is also more than happy to lie right there and hold onto Sam. Jensen is just relieved that Dean has stopped angsting for the time being. Even if this does say a few things about his character that Jensen hadn't seen coming.

"Hmmmmm," Sam murmurs and raises his head, and it's almost like a switch being thrown as Sam's content smile melts into Jared's happy grin. Jensen can't help but grin back.

"Bedroom?" Jared offers. "Those tiles are not comfortable, man."

"Mmmm," Jensen murmurs. "Do I have to move?"

"Yes," Jared says cheerfully, scrambling to his feet, then grabbing Jensen's hands and pulling him up too. Before Jensen can complain about the manhandling, Jared is tugging him through the apartment and into the bedroom, and Jensen collapses gratefully onto the bed.

"You came back early," Jensen murmurs sleepily, pulling Jared down with him.

"Yeah, well," Jared says. "I knew you'd probably be all character-bleedy and angsting around after the past few days, so I came up with a surefire plan to cure you. I'm a genius, Jensen. An actual, honest-to-god _genius_."

"Genius," Jensen repeats, a little doubtfully.

"Definitely a genius," Jared proclaims. "Think about it - what better way to force you out of Dean's headspace than to put you in a situation where you're looking at Sam as a lover, not a brother, so you're forced to be Jensen rather than Dean?" He's beaming at Jensen. "Genius, I tell you."

Jensen stares at him for a long moment, then buries his head into the crook of Jared's neck and closes his eyes.

"Yeah, Jared," he says, his voice muffled. "You're a genius."


End file.
